Conversations With My Grandad

Grandad: the war was so exciting....
Me: but, I mean, it was kinda bad aswell wasn't it?
Grandad: we used to sit on the roof of this great big hotel just off Tottenham Court Road with these long shovels, do you know about the London Blitz?
Me: yeah
Grandad: well the incendary bombs, they used to fall and set fire to things, so when it was your turn on the roof you had to pick them up in these shovels and fling them into someone else's back garden!
Me: errrrr!!!
Grandad: it was a brilliant time that.


Grandad: Do you know why Beavers make dams?
Me: Errr, no actually. Yeah hang on, why *do* beavers make dams?
Grandad: Becuase they cannot *stand* the sound of running water.


Grandad: I love museums, war museums I would so love to go to one
Me: OK well we should definately go! There's an aeroplane one in Malton nearby, we could go there?
Grandad: Oh I would love to go. Any museum, I love them.
Me: Well let's go there then.
Grandad: Oh wait a minute, I think Vicky and Dave [my mum and dad] took me there last year. It was very dissappointing to me, because they had lots and lots of aeroplanes and ones like the ones I flew but they didn't have the ACTUAL aeroplanes I flew. Yes it was very disappointing.


Me: I think if I were to go into the army I would go into 'Intelligence'
Grandad:  [pause] No you wouldn't. You'd be a driver.


Grandad: I like your buttons on your jacket. They are like Michael Jackson
Me: Oh wow, thanks! Yes they are a bit Michael Jackson. Isn't it sad that he died?
Grandad: Oh yes, it is quite sad. He was such a talented little boy.
Me: Yeah, I mean he was talented all the way through really....
Grandad: I saw a film of him once
Me: Oh yeah?
Grandad: Yes, he was doing all this fantastic dancing and he'd blacked up his face, you know?
Me: Errrm... he was black!
Grandad: [long pause] Oh! So he was!!