Fanny and Dick and Moonface just get pissed on mead all the time. Fanny throws up in the bucket and Moonface spews on the magic carpet and he has to scrub it with fairy liquid - like literally fairy liquid. And Dick, when Dick's drunk he turns into a total dick...
Moonface: You know w-w-what, Dick? You're... a r-r-real... DICK! BLEAURRGHHH!
Fanny: Hurr hurr hurr BLEEEAAUUURRRHGGHGH!
Dick: FUCK THE LOTS OF YA! FUCKING MOON FANNY FUCKFACES!
etc.
So Fanny and Dick turn 18 and Moonface dies and they skip their final A Level exams to go to Moonface's funeral.They get shit results and their parents get mad. They can only get into a shit university and in their first term away from home, the Faraway Tree gets cut down. They get so sad about it all that they sack off their shit university and go travelling. Everything's so rubbish though. These guys have been to the Faraway Tree and all sort of lands. Do you think they're much impressed by an inter-railing holiday in Europe? Not much. They end up in Zante, getting pissed on the beach every night. They hang out with people that take loads of pills and mushrooms and for a while, it all seems OK because they can talk about the Faraway Tree which they never have done before, for the obvious reasons that people would think them insane.
After a while they just get really sad though, because the irony is that their lives in this world is actually far more un-real than their lives in the Faraway Tree. The Faraway Tree was the most real thing to them, it meant something to them and so did the 'folk' who lived there. Anyone in this world who is willing to believe them, or even just allow them to talk about it without questioning the validity, is just too stupid or smashed to be of any worth in being friends with.
They stop hanging around with the wild people so much and learn to stop trying to talk about the Faraway Tree. They're not stupid, they know it will land them in some sort of mental health hospital if they persist it, so they just stop trying. Sometimes, when they get in a relationship with someone they feel close to, they try and tell them. But it always breaks them apart, for how could anyone of any stability in this world, permit, or understand such talk, even if they want to.
Fanny and Dick live with such a gap between them and anyone else in the world, that they can't form closeness with anybody else, and the closeness they have with each other, people find odd and cliquey and impenetrable. They live together like a peculiar brother and sister spinster couple and grow older and sadder at their lack of real connection with anybody other than themselves. When they get home from work, they pour out some mead which never tastes the same as it did in the Faraway Tree, and talk about the old days. It's almost as if anything past the age of 18 never happened to them.
The author of this story is called Ophelia Rudge and she becomes so saddened by her own storytelling that she makes less and less sense as it goes on. Her writing becomes careless and angry and pointed and hopeless. She eventually leaves the story where I have and just says
"OH FUCK IT YOU'RE ALL NOBS" and nothing else gets written in the book.
Rudge is drunk at all the book signings and readings and she becomes withdrawn from the world and humanity much like her characters, only in a far more destructive way and she doesn't even have anybody else in the way that at least Fanny and Dick have each other.
